OJ Simpson's New Book.

Please, if you are interested in reading his book, find out first if the money will line his pockets or go to the family of the deceased. He is on MSN today with the smuggest grin I have ever seen. I don't know if he "did it" but the title of his book is, "If I did it", that is just a sick way to sell your book.

Aging parents;it's a bitch.

This is a little off the beaten path for me but I feel the need to share what I am sure many people have already found out. When one's parents become one's child there is no telling what this will do to your state of mind. My mother was widowed in '97. She has been on her own for these many years and her health has started to deteriorate. Last Spring she had a mild stroke. She seems, well confused more now. Talking to her on the phone takes a real act of will. I cannot be doing something else, like loading the dishwasher, I have to truly focus because if I don't who knows where the conversation will go.
This past summer her confusion turned from simple loss of words to loss of dates, times, events. This scared the hell out of me. Being the youngest and the only one really in a position to help I sought the Power of Attorney. Surprisingly she was eager to sign it. She recognized that she could not handle her house and her bank account. Things that had once been simple became increasingly more difficult and she called me and said that she could no longer keep up our family home.
She is moving to Bozeman. She will have her own place. I am excited and I am scared to death. I have such a mix of emotions, relief that I know she will have better care here, terrified that I will have to give up my lazy Sunday afternoons to see that she has the food she needs for the week. She will not drive in Bozeman, she has already stated that. Will I have to be the chauffeur? What if she is lonely? What if she gets depressed? How will she survive without her church? All of these things,they plague me. I feel so selfish thinking this way. I have been praying a lot about it hoping for some peace to settle in.
On the outside I am holding it together. I have rolled up my sleeves. The house is on the market. I spent 5 days there helping her decide what she keeps, what she gives to her kids, what she donates and what she just plain throws away. There is 45 years of "stuff" there.
My Mom's life revolved around us kids. You would know this in only a few minutes of being in our house. She sacrificed a lot for us. She never worried that we would take over her precious lazy Sunday afternoons. She probably has never had one in her life.
I know it will be okay. I have a strong bond with my Mom. My real fear is watching her deteriorate. Old age is really a bitch.